Saturday, September 12, 2009

Fresh! Seafood in Mokpo [WARNING: May be disturbing to some Stuff Shawn Did fans]

1) Put several live octopus (octopi?) in cold water so as to dull their senses.

2)Find the least feisty of the bunch and grab him by the neck. Attempt to pull him out of the bowl before he can grab onto the sides with his long tentacles (note: I did say 'tentacles').

3) Try to talk some sense into the little guy. "Stop fighting! I'm only trying to eat you!".

4) Resist falling for the charms of your prey as he crawls up your arm and into your heart.

5) Shove one chopstick up into the breather hole on the back of his head and wrestle with his tentacles in order to neatly wrap them around both utensils.

6) Apply sauces as desired and shove him into your mouth. Be sure to chew thoroughly while you are feeling him wriggle around as you do not want any of the suction cups to get stuck to your throat on the way down.

7)Watch friends enjoy the delicacy.

8) Enjoy the fellowship.

9) Forget that you have become a barbaric monster.

10) Look at your final victim in the dreamy haze of the glass bowl and contemplate how you would like to be eaten alive and decide that a) you would want to be enjoyed and b) you would want to be well chewed before ingestion.